I just want to leave....

So yesterday my grandma told me that she told my uncle about my plans to move back to my home country and he wants to help- he wants me to go to FL to see what that state can offer.

Now, in order for this to make sense, there's background info to be known. My uncle owns various cleaning companies and hotels- some of which are in FL. He wants me to work for him during the summer to earn my own money and see what Florida is like. He thinks I'm going to suffer back in my homeland. Truth of the matter, I know it's going to suck big time moving, but I have my mind made up on it. I've had all these dreams of college life, which I'm not going to be able to have there, but as Albus Dumbledore once said, it does no good to dwell on dreams.

Can't anyone see how miserable I am here? No license, no nothing. My greatest dream and goal is Europe, London to be exact. I can't travel. Even if I get a degree here, I wouldn't get hired. And fuck no, I'm not cleaning up after ANYONE nor do I plan to fight anyone else's battles. I'm not going to be some mediocre like the rest of my family. My grandma says "those things come, you have to wait." I've done my waiting, almost 10 years of it!

There are more reasons besides these of why I'm the Ice Cold Queen. Literally, my feelings are so fucked up. I've learned that you can't expect much from anyone or anything, cause IT WILLL FUCK YOU OVER. I don't even feel much happiness anymore, I've grown to be numb.

Here's the even more fucked up part, I really don't think I will miss my family at all. I've cried over parting with my cat, but that's it. I've thought of parting with the rest of my family and it actually makes me happy...
Maybe it's because my dad left when I was 8 with a promise to come back. Maybe I've just become too screwed up. The bottom line is, people are replaceable. I've got grandparents who are good people, but never took a US citizenship test in 9 years to ask for my residency. I've got a mother who never finished college and can't even learn English. I've got a brother with Autism....
Can you blame me for wanting to leave?!

And by the way, whenever you think that your life sucks, I'm here to prove that it can get much worse. If I was all over the place in this post, I apologize(sorta), but my thoughts are not necessarily organized either